RATS

"Whats that under my Chair ?"
"It has furry hair like a bear"

"Whats that in my House ?"
"Its not a bear ,Its a Mouse ",
"Whose been eating my food and Fluther's Hat ?",
"O my God,Its not a Mouse but a great big Rat ".

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FLUTHER..........................
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Fluther sits in his Chair,
Without a worry or a Care.
"Fluther", says Lily," Will you paint me Door ?"
"And when you finish that, varnish me floor ?"
"Just leave it out,woman and make me Tea"
"I just want to watch me racing on T.V."
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THREE TIMES A HERO PART 2

2...The 80s.

Bem and Del went for a dip in the local pool,
They had an hour to kill before the school.
They were messing in the water ,Bem acting the clown,
"Look",says Bem,"That guys head is bobbing up and down ". 
Del dives in and grabs the guy,
The guy was so happy he let out a big sigh.

THREE TIMES A HERO PART 3

...the 90s.
Del and Bem bring the girls to the pool,
Leah and Becky were still too young for school.
The girls were playing in a shallow part ,
Bem made the mistake of straying apart.
Leah slipped into deep waters losing her fight,
But up came Del ,he had her in his sight.
Bem felt such a low zero,
But Del was forever our Hero.

THREE TIMES A HERO PART 1

1..The 70s
One day the folks brought us to the seaside,
The Boys,Jacky,and cousin Paul came along for the ride.
Great fun in the sea was had by all,
'Til the storm came and rain began to fall.
"Everyone out ," says the Dad,
Our faces were long and so sad.
We all gathered to get dry,
Ma said ,"We're short a guy".
Our cousin Paul was nowhere,
"O my god",says Ger ,"He's out there.
Del was gone in a flash ,
As he dived in he made a splash. 
Out he came with Paul under his arm,
Thanks to Del he came to no harm.

Like

DEL BOY

When i catch me fish, Its going to be Grilled,
When its all done,its going to be Milled .
My name is not Grizzly or Bear Grill
I'm just down here,just trying to Chill.
I'm enjoying meself , I won't Lie,
It's great for me,Del Boy.

TAXI SH#TE

Some bitch sh#t in my car
She wasn't even going that far
"I only like to go with Irish guys"
"You had to pick me,Why O Why ?"
We get there she gives me a tip
When she gets out it smells like a skip
I jump out and have a look
O my God it's full of brown muck
I look around and she's gone thru' the gate
If only I had not noticed so late
"My poor f#cking car is all soiled"
I clean it up it takes awhile
I feel better now that it's all clean
She was an animal ,so mean
She should be in a field going, "Moo"
Not in my car doing a Poo
So you can talk sh#te from your mouth
But please don't let it roll south............

Sunday, 11 May

PLATTERS AND CLATTERS

Lads,Keep your eyes off the Platters,
If yous go near it you'll get the Clatters.
I can only afford one of them Tonight ,
Keep your mouths closed,Don't  take a Bite.
Buy a big bag of chips later On ,
Don't ask me,My money is all Gone.

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DON'T MESS WITH THE BULL.

MY GLASS IS NEVER HALF EMPTY,ONLY HALF FULL,

DON'T TAKE ME BIKE,DON;T MESS WITH THE BULL.

WHEN YOU GET ON MY BUS ,JUST PAY YOUR FARE,

DON'T MESS WITH THE BULL,DON'T YOU DARE.

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THE GIRLS

The girls passed their big Exams,
Their so happy, so are the Mams.
Their now getting all dolled Up,
Cause later they'll have a Sup.
Let's hope they don't go too Crazy,
We don't want them coming home all Hazy.